Managing Anger
Is Anger Best Expressed Or Suppressed?
We all experience feelings of anger at some time or another. For some, it may not be full-blown anger but more strong irritation which unbalances you.
Some cultures and religions teach that it is always wrong to express anger and in other cultures, anger translates to passion and is seen as part of your identity. So should anger be expressed or suppressed? Well, anger is never the root emotion, there is usually some kind of fear behind our anger, like fear of not being heard, seen, respected or loved and these root fears can go back to childhood.
Like all emotions, anger or irritation is energy that wants to be seen without judgement so it can complete its journey. Holding anger in can create all sorts of physical problems including heart disease, low immunity, throat issues and liver problems. Yet expressing anger by physically or verbally attacking someone else is also not the answer, as every action has a 're-action'.
The 3 phases of transmuting anger
Phase 1
Create a break in the momentum of anger and release some of the energy by doing any of the following:
Going for a brisk walk.
Going for a run.
Taking some deep breaths.
Counting slowly to 10.
Screaming into a pillow.
Doing some wild dancing.
Hitting a cushion (poor cushion 😊).
Phase 2
Having taken the edge off, we can now sit down with the feeling of anger or irritation (if it's still there) and become curious about what is really behind it.
Connect with your body by placing both hands on your tummy.
Notice where you feel the emotion in your body and be ok with it being there.
Breathe deeply into that space.
Listen to what comes up for you without judgement.
Phase 3
Place one hand on your heart and leave the other hand on your tummy.
Spend a few minutes bringing feelings of gratitude, love and compassion into the space where the emotion resides.
This works really quickly for me and others I've taught it to. In less than 10 minutes I've gone from feeling absolutely livid to not being able to find the anger at all. The last time it happened, behind it was the fear of not being heard or respected which went back to my early school days. I released some tears and then soothed that forgotten part of myself. The shift was so freeing.
Having gone through the above steps, if you still feel the need to express your feelings to the person who triggered you, you will be able to authentically speak your truth, with your emotions in a more balanced place. This will allow you to be heard by the other person and will open up mutually beneficial dialogue between you.
Let me know if you try it on your own or please share your methods for dealing with anger. 💖
Namasté
Gwen x
