You’re Not Too Much: Healing the Shame of Being Fully Yourself
Have you ever been made to feel like you’re too much? Not just once, but consistently. Perhaps in the subtle ways people looked at you when you shared something from the heart, or the way someone changed the subject when your energy rose with passion.
Perhaps it was when your joy, depth, intuition, spirituality or even tears made your family members or friends feel uncomfortable, laugh at you and then label you as ‘dramatic’, ‘extra’ or ‘woo-woo’ when really, you were simply being fully alive.
For many of us, this “your too much” shame started early. We sensed things deeply, were intuitive, played, danced or sung too passionately, excelled too effortlessly at creative tasks and somewhere along the way, someone shut that down. Not always out of cruelty, (although sometimes it was) but often because they didn’t know how to receive us.
IT’S NOT YOU… IT’S THEM
It’s easy to assume there’s something wrong with you but the truth is, when someone is deeply in touch with their passion, light or power, it can stir up emotions in others. Not everyone is ready to meet that energy.
Some people feel unsettled around a person who owns their voice, radiates joy or displays their talents with confidence, particularly when it draws more attention from another like a parent, teacher or manager.
Your presence can be a mirror, reflecting back what they’ve suppressed, forgotten or feared in themselves and rather than turn towards that discomfort with curiosity, many will choose to ridicule, dismiss or judge you.
This dynamic is rarely spoken about, but it shapes so many of us.
TRADING YOUR TRUTH TO BELONG
When you met with resistance or rejection, especially in those vulnerable moments, you adapted. You started softening your tone, second-guessing your instincts and playing small just to fit in.
You may have found yourself dulling your enthusiasm and hiding or diminishing your gifts so you don’t appear “weird.” It’s understandable, particularly if this starts at a young age when all we want to do is fit in and not be only one left on the bench.
Somewhere inside, you’ve internalised a message that being fully yourself leads to isolation or shame.
Over time, that disconnection from who we are becomes painful. We feel it as frustration, as stuckness, procrastination or as an invisible ceiling we can’t quite break through. We might even tell ourselves that we’re not motivated or focused, when really, we’re just disconnected from the most radiant parts of our soul.
THE LIBERATION
The truth is, you were never too much. You were simply too vibrant for people still afraid of their own light. That’s not a judgement, it’s a recognition that your energy is a gift and while some people will shrink in its presence, others will be deeply inspired by it. You don’t need to water yourself down to be accepted. You just need to be in the right spaces, the ones that honour your full expression without asking you to tone it down.
THE INVITATION
So I invite you to open your journal and reflect gently on the following:
Where have you been hiding yourself to avoid rejection?
Where have you held back your voice, your creativity, your joy, your wisdom?
What would it feel like to let just a little more of yourself be seen, without apology?
You don’t need to be louder or bigger to reclaim your truth, you just need to stop leaving the best parts of yourself behind.
You were always meant to be whole.
With love and light
Gwen x
