When Anger Hasn’t Healed, It Changes Shape
Unresolved anger doesn't stay still or disappear, it simply changes shape. It can appear as tiny frustrations that feel bigger than they should, perhaps expressed as a sharp tone we didn’t mean to use or a tightness in our chest over something that someone else would barely react to.
This is what happens when anger isn’t healed - it seeps into the everyday moments of life and because it’s so subtle, we often miss the real message:
“Something inside me is still hurting.”
Healing anger isn’t about fixing the past or changing someone. It doesn't require going back to the person who hurt us, offering forgiveness we don’t feel ready for or reopening old conversations in the hope someone will finally apologise.
Healing anger begins with us compassionately witnessing the emotion, perhaps for the first time. This gives our body the chance to complete an emotional cycle that was interrupted a long time ago.
What IS ANGER?
Anger is rarely the primary emotion. It’s the protective layer that sits on top of hurt, disappointment, betrayal or a moment when we weren’t supported or respected.
If those experiences weren’t processed at the time, the body holds onto the anger until we feel safe enough to acknowledge what’s underneath and the body’s way of asking for our attention is often through these small, seemingly disproportionate frustrations.
HEALING UNPROCESSED ANGER
Therapy, counselling, somatic work, breathwork and energy healing like Reiki can help us release anger, but a simple practice to begin with is to pause and ask your body:
“Is this about what’s happening right now… or is this something older?”
Feedback from your body might be heaviness, a tight jaw, a sinking in the belly, indicating where the old anger has been waiting to be acknowledged without judgement.
Say, “It’s safe for me to feel what’s here.”
Stay with the sensation, not the story
Breathe deeply and slowly
Allow what wants to come up to express itself, e.g. tears, movement, yawning
When we see the emotion without being the emotion, even for a few seconds, anger doesn’t have to leak into our daily life. It can shift and be quietly released, ending overreactions that can disconnect us from others and ourselves.
With love and light
Gwen x
