Updated: Nov 22, 2022
When exploring what makes a successful relationship, I have to say it's communication. Although this sounds simple enough, we know that this is often the most difficult thing to get right.
If one or both of you in a relationship are unable to share your thoughts and feelings honestly, whether positive or negative, the result is a less than authentic coupling and interactions that are full of assumptions about the other person's thoughts, motives and desires.
How we communicate is important as it's the foundation of any successful, fulfilling relationship. Really listening, validating each other's feelings and staying away from generalisations such as 'you always do xx' or 'you never do xx' will prevent defensiveness from the other. This allows you both to feel that you have a safe space within which you can freely open up and express yourselves without being shut down or challenged.
If you're in a relationship and you feel that communication is something you'd like to work on as a couple, start with the areas shown below to create conversations of mutual discovery and deepen your understanding of what makes the other person tick.
Take time to individually choose up to 10 core values then share them with each other. Your values should reflect what you stand for in life, how you want to be treated and how you want to treat others. These might be things like honesty, fun, communication, orderliness, fairness, adventure, peace, passion, spirituality, etc. Discuss these with each other, sharing why each value is important to you. It's also good to see how you can bring more of those values into your relationship.
Share your goals for the relationship and your personal goals. It's essential for couples to be on the same page when it comes to creating a future. This will also open up beautiful, creative discussions about your passions and dreams and why you want the things you want.
Preferences and dislikes
Understanding what you both like and don't like to do across all areas of your life, including in the bedroom, will give you further insight into each other's personalities. It's also important to explain why you do or don't like doing something.
Get a clear understanding of how you both deal with conflict. This will reduce assumptions, misunderstandings and feelings of abandonment. So if one person needs to take time away in order to calm down and collect their thoughts, the other person can allow that to happen without making it mean something more or without trying to keep that person engaged in the argument against their will.
These are great discussions to have and regularly revisit whether you're in a new or established relationship, so don't avoid them. They're great dating questions too but perhaps drip-feed them into the conversation over a series of dates. Don't freak them out! 😅
As human beings, we have an innate desire to connect, belong and be understood so it makes sense that communication is fundamental to relationship success.
If communication isn't there, it's possible that we can feel tremendous loneliness within the relationship. It's through this type of exploratory communication that we can discover more about each other and ourselves, building stronger, deeper bonds. 💜✨
Is a Transformation Coach, Spiritual Business Coach, Accredited Meditation Teacher and Reiki Master/Teacher with a desire to open your mind to new possibilities, whilst gently guiding you towards your goals and personal transformations.
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