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How to Help Your Anxious Children
Updated: Nov 14, 2022
My daughter has suffered from anxiety for several years. Lately, she's been super anxious about her final dissertation which had to be submitted in 3 weeks. She was doing well until her tutor (who’ll be marking it) threw her a curveball telling her to change the structure. She told me she’s been stressed and anxious about it for a couple of weeks because she can’t get her head around the new structure and her tutor takes weeks to reply to her. I gave her some suggestions but wasn’t much help really.
When I woke up at 6am the next morning I realised she’d been up all night. ‘Fixer mum’ walks in with an A3 pad and pencil ready to brainstorm with her. It’s 6am, she hasn’t slept, she's tired and she's stressed. Not sure what I was thinking. 😂 So when that went nowhere, I just let her talk.
I left her room and started ‘catastrophising’ - thinking about the worst-case scenario. ‘This is bad. If she gets a low grade her whole degree is ruined, she won’t get a good job and the last 3 years will be wasted, she won’t be able to cope, her anxiety will get worse...’ Then I stopped. I knew the energy of my thoughts would make the energy around her worse and the solution won’t come to her. I took my own medicine - I said ‘Divine love is doing its perfect work in this situation' and did my morning meditation.
Surprisingly, despite what was going on, I felt amazing during and after my meditation. I realised my daughter had fallen asleep in her room and so I got on with my day, repeating the mantra every now and again.
Whilst I was doing a fun video workout and laughing out loud, my daughter came in. ‘I’ve figured out how I’m going to do it. I’m going to do this, this and this and I’m going to request 2 weeks extension to give me more time. I feel much better.’ I was literally dumbstruck. I asked her when she worked it out. ‘Just now’ she said.
There are many reasons why our children develop anxiety and many different, successful approaches to help them. One thing to think about is that as parents we naturally worry so much about our kids, forgetting that they have their own inner guidance. We’re used to being the ones to make things better when they have a problem but our worrying affects them energetically and our constant fixing can lower their self-esteem.
Trusting, sending them love and seeing them in positive states of being, creates a lighter, energetic space around them into which they can express their true, loving selves and perfect solutions can flow. It takes practice, I know, but it can really help to shift things in a positive way.
Namasté
Gwen x
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Gwen Allison
Is a Transformation Coach, Spiritual Business Coach, Accredited Meditation Teacher and Reiki Master/Teacher with a desire to open your mind to new possibilities, whilst gently guiding you towards your goals and personal transformations.
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